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Girl blowing confetti hearts
How do you define romantic love?
Romantic love, despite being a universal human experience, still holds much mystery. If you search for a dictionary definition, you’ll find vague one-liners. Collins Dictionary describes it as: ‘love characterised by romance and involving sexual attraction.’ Dr Sarah Pinto, lecturer in Australian Studies at Deakin University, says researchers in a number of fields – from humanities to science – have tried to pin down a concrete explanation of romantic love for the past two decades.
No one can agree on precisely what romantic love is, but most agree that it is a human emotion, Dr Pinto says. But there is also debate about how to define a human emotion. Some will classify it as a biological process while others definite emotions as cognitive behaviours.
Love is a changing cultural concept
Dr Pinto suggests that the reason we struggle to define romantic love is because the concept is fluid. ‘It’s not something that is always the same in different times and places. It’s a cultural phenomenon that changes,’ she explains. Through her research, Dr Pinto found that in 19th century America there was a focus on a spiritual compatibility. After World War II, sex and passion became important. Today, she says there’s a strong belief that real romantic love has to involve friendship, shared interests and a sexual relationship. According to Dr Pinto, the contemporary idea of romantic love might ask too much of couples. ‘The expectation is too onerous,’ she argues.
‘Some people would say romantic love has to involve a sexual or erotic component,’ Dr Pinto suggests. However, she points out that a lot of research is focused on heterosexual relationships and does not account for a range of other possibilities.