I see a lot of these questions but Im going to ask anyway. I have an 8 year old step son. His mother and grandmothers spoil him rotten. He has everything you could imagine, newest toys, bikes, scooters, video games, a cell phone, you name it he has it. He plays every sport there is. He has been so coddled he can not do the simplest things. He doesnt close doors, turn off lights, pick up his own dishes or laundry. He has no chores around the house. Everytime I ask him to pick up after himself his mother treats me like I'm abusing him. I have never even raised my voice to him once. She says its because I don't show him positive attention. I used to take him places and play with him and basically treat him like a son. But I'm sick of doing all that just to be treated like I'm not his father. When I ask him to do something he says yes and then as soon as I'm out of sight he does what he wants. I can see major problems as he gets older and I'm thinking of getting a divorce. This is a constant problem and we fight constantly over it. What do I say to my wife to get her to wake up? I think its a lost cause.
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What do you do with a spoiled step child.?
Spoiled Stepchildren
You would be having this problem whether this was your natural child or not. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is your step son, it is just more frustrating for you because you feel more helpless to change the situation with a child you did not bring into the world.
Number one, he is 8. Unless they have very vigilant and consistent parents, 8 yr olds as a species are prone to all of the faults you describe. So this exactly what he would have been like even if he was your child.
Number two, his mother and grandmother are the one's who are lavishing the gifts and letting him slack on the work. This may be the way they are, or mom at least may be overcompensating for the feeling that you are too harsh.
Having been through the adjustment period with my husband and my daughter, I would caution you to take an outside look at yourself before you blame everything on the kid. There should be a balance between fun and work, for both of you, and there should be just as much praise as punishment. Otherwise all you are doing is reinforcing the them against you dynamic as he get's older.
My biggest complaint with my husband was that he would get home and immediately begin trying to correct her behavior. He never even looked for a positive thing, and rarely noticed her unless she was doing something wrong. He actually lectured her for 5 minutes one night for not finishing her potato chips at dinner. That was the turning point for us, me being able to point out that he had just spent 5 minutes arguing with a 7 yr old over potato chips. I finally got him to see that the principle was not as important as choosing his battles.
The more positive interaction that you have with your son, the more he will emulate you, and your values. The easier the relationship you have with him, the more his mother will be willing to work with you to enforce the important rules and set limits.
Your life sounds just like mine, except my wife has become much more reasonable in recent years.
Being a step-parent is a thankless task. Damned if you do ANYTHING, Damned if you don't do ANYTHING. If you don't have mom's support, you're just pounding sand down a rathole trying to discipline him. Be positive with him in small, subtle, nonchalant ways and don't expect anything in return. You'll be doing the right thing, and over time he'll either get it or he won't. At least you will have done your best.
Good luck.
i understand this sounds loopy yet you're an person additionally maximum suitable? Then why are your stepping into hassle?? it is annoying any time there are young infants in touch, yet once you're extreme approximately this relationship you will desire to refer to the two the youngster and the SO. you will desire to positioned your foot down. i'm sorry even in the journey that your are the mummy or no longer you're a think approximately self-discipline. Heck I self-discipline my acquaintances young infants in the event that they get out of line.. yet I do cope with each and every of the infants that i'm around the comparable with self-discipline and love. I cope with them the comparable way I cope with my son. stable luck and ultimate desires.
I feel for you, I am catty-cornenered from you on the matter because i am married and my oldest son is from a previous relationship. So more apprpriately, my husband feels for you. We had issues similar to this but My sons father was the one who was spoiling him rotten. My husband wnated to have a firmer hand on my son because he is with us the majority of the time and he felt my son had no respect for him. I was the one who ultimately had to step and and tell my son, he may not be your father but he cares for you like he is. That's what you need to make clear to your wife (if it's the truth). If she sees that you are concerned and want to have some control over this because you love him, she may be more willing to bend. That's what it took for me anyway, once I saw my husband was hurting, i stepped in. We all have a very smooth household running now.
tyical little boy. hes 8... my brothers 12 and acts the same way. except he doesnt flush the toilet, pees on himself cuz hes too lazy to go to the bathroom sometimes, and gets pissed when you ask him to clean up after himself. excuse me... TELL him to clean up after himself. i dont ask children to do anything. aint no confersation, aint no negotiation. kids get the hell up and do what it is i tell them. now my brother is a lazy bum but in no way is he spoiled. all that not cleanin up after himself and such is normal. it will go on for years to come. its invediable. what the problem is is your wife, that boy didnt buy himself all that stuff and let himself be a slob, shes doing that. she needs to be a mother instead of a friend to him. shes going to regret that **** in the long run real talk. when hes 30 and still living with her, shes going to regret that. she needs to stop trying to fill the void for his biological father not being there and treat that boy like a boy and not a 2 year girl. hell, when i was 2 i knew how to clean up after myself. tell her YOU are the man of the house and YOU make the rules. if she dont like it, she needs to get the steppin. your the head of the house so put ur foot down. i, in no way, promote divorce but there are plenty of single parent women who want a FATHER for their children, and not a playmate. many of women would love to have someone to love and take care of their son AND teach him how to be a man. not someone who is going to baby them like your wife does and obviously want u to do. babying is a womans job. your the man. "you have a child in the morning and a friend at sunset. " which means when the child is... a child (morning), it is not the time to be their friend. its time to be a parent. and when they get older (sunset) you will have a friend because you guided them in the correct path and they are greatful. enlighten her. and if she cant get it, and cant respect the fact that your the man and you make the rules. tss idk wat to tell u.
you need to work this out with your wife, dont just divorce over one thing tho thats just stupid.
throw beans at him
kill the kid lmao
jkjkjkjkjk!!!!